L'art de l'effeuillage burlesque

This Thursday kicks off one of the most entertaining series of events ever to be held in the St. Louis area. 

What is it you ask? 

      ...a three-day festival of madness, erotica, art, dancing, singing, shenanigans, fire, mayhem, magic, and glitter.....lots and lots of glitter. 

Here is the skinny.

Thursday, May 17th - 8PM

The opening gala commences at the Coliseum - this is a brand spanking new aka virgin venue as we liked to refer to it in the rave days.  There are an arsenal of amazing performers just gushing with talent who will do everything in their power to amaze, dazzle, and excite you.  The hosts of this event include none other than Clownvis Presley, Nadine Dubois, and Lucky Deluxe.  The individual line-up is simply chocked full of talent and sexual beings.  Here is a lil' teaser list for you to gnaw on.....Bazuka Joe, BiBi Dazzle, Dewy DeCimalle, the fabulous Hoochie Coochie Girls, Horchata Dentata....and so much for.  Click here to see the full line-up and event details-----> Show-Me Burlesque Opening Gala - May 17th

Friday, May 18th - 11PM
Night two of sex, music, dancing, and magic continues at the Sheldon Concert Hall.  Nadine Dubois will once again cater to all your hostess needs.  Night two features another onslaught of uber sexy and amazing performances from the likes of (teaser alert!)...Jeez Loueez...w snap!, Katrina Dohl....we had amazing ear sex last weekend - call me, KD xoxox, The Bon-Bons, Ray effing Gunn, and none other than that sexy and dynamic duo....Lola Van Ella and Sammich the Tramp.  Friday night = twofer!  That's right....in addition to the Show-Me Spectacular....there is a second round of magic and mayhem entitled Red Light District Revue....hosted by Mistress Victoria DeVille.  Folks...you may need a wet nap after this double dose of sexual euphoria.  For the complete event line-up, details, annnnd ticket information....click here ------>  Show-Me Spectacular

Saturday, May 19th - 8:30PM
Is there any other way to conclude a three-day, non-stop, sexy time soirée than this - THE Beggar's Carnivale and Carnivalesque?  I think not!  The incomparable and mind-blowing Beggar's Carnivale is the final event of this year's Show-Me Burlesque festival.  I assure that you will not want to miss this event.  This event has been known to cause euphoric hangovers and delusions of grandeur...if you will.  Go ahead and cancel all your Sunday church plans.  A full day of recuperation will be necessary.  There is so much magic jammed into this line-up....I can barely contain myself.  Lola Van Ella, Sammich the Tramp, The Knock-a-bouts, Bon-Bons, Hoochie Coochie Girls, Too-Me, Indie Lou, Venus in Flames, Peter Peculiar, Ray Gunn....sweet Christmas I need a cigarette, and that ain't even the half of it!  My all-time favorite local band....The Royal We will also be performing.  Click here for the full Monty----->The Beggar's Carnival & Carnivalesque - May 19th

Tickets for all Show-Me Burlesque events are on sale now and can be purchased at one of the following links INCLUDING the more bang for your buck VIP package, which grants ticket holders admission not one....not two, but all Show-Me Burlesque events...that's right, folks.  Get your tickets now, and go ahead and take the next week off....you're gonna need it after this week/weekend long sexcapade.  For information on general ticket sales for all events including the VIP package - click on the link below.
Show-Me Burlesque Tix!

I hope to see you all at one or more of these amazing events. 

It truly will be F'ing...

For more information on Show-Me Burlesque, the fabulous Lola Van Ella & Van Ella Productions as well as the amazing Beggar's Carnivale.....click on the links below.  Be sure to check out the various classes held at Van Ella Studios to see what tickles your tassels.  It's a great way to incorporate social fun time and exercise in one delicious time slot!

Show-Me Burlesque
Van Ella Productions

The Beggar's Carnivale

Because of you, North Carolina...I Vent.

There are two things I refuse to argue about in public forums but tend to raise my blood temperature and pressure like none other.  I make a valiant attempt to steer clear of the majority of discussions that involve one or the other...and in worst case scenarios -both.  I especially avoid conversing about these things when dealing with an individual who is completely oblivious to reality and takes their Christian bullshit to an extremist level.  This is usually this case when these so-called people of faith taking that silly Bible book  - THE ultimate book of stories & fables - and using it to dictate how WE - humans - should live.  No science....just bullshit.

Example:  The Bible implies in Genesis 9:13 that no rainbows appeared in the sky before the flood of Noah.  Rainbows have actually been around as long as the sun and rain.  The color spectrum is essentially a product of the dispersed light....and the LGBT community.  Haaayyy!

Nevermind the fact that this book was written completely by men and ultimately FOR men.  That is the equivalence of teaching history today out of a textbook from the 1800s. 

Obviously, there has been some progression in the interim.  Otherwise, women and others deemed sub-human at the time would still be fighting for their right to live, work, marry, and be happy.  That is what humans do - evolve and progress.  I try so very hard to respect Christians and/or those who believe in other relatively if not completely oppressive religions to an extent, but the discriminatory and bigoted dialogue is as stale as the bread they break for communion.  Some of these Christians commonly pick and choose the passages from the alleged doctrine of life(aka the Bible) and have no qualms about it. 

Example(s):  "If a man lies with a woman during her sickness and uncovers her nakedness, he has discovered her flow, and she has uncovered the flow of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from her people." (Leviticus 20:18)  - Fairly confident that this occurs on a regular basis without any punishment rendered.

"Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property." (Leviticus 25:44-45)  - Fairly confident that this will not fly in today's society - at least in the majority of the world.

"...do not plant your field with two kinds of seed. Do not wear material woven of two kinds of material." (Leviticus 19:19) - Ladies...check those tags!  You could indeed be a SINNER!

"I permit no woman to teach or have authority over men; she is to keep silent." Timothy 2:11
- Yeah right...say this to the wrong female and see what happens.

"He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the Lord."(Deuteronomy 23:1)  - I feel as though this is a bit discriminatory against individuals with testicular issues....not to mention John Bobbitt.

By the way - if you haven't already watch Bill Maher's fantastic documentary entitled Religulous....you really, really should.  He does a far better job at pointing out the holes in the religious fabric so-to-speak.  Here's a snippet for your viewing enjoyment....

Bottom line... I strongly believe that religion - more than any other factor - divides us as humans around the globe - specifically religions that involve oppression and fear - whether it involves God or some other deity.  The use of a specific moral code and eternal damnation as punishment for breaking such a code obviously is enough to brainwash the masses.  I cannot for the life of me get my head around this.....nor can Bill Maher and millions of other inquisitive, intelligent humans.  I was raised under the Christian faith and can assure you that as I grew wiser - many red flags began to rise.  Religion and politics have no place interacting with each other nor should basic human rights ever be voted on by the general public or anyone for that matter.  Be religious and believe in whatever trips your wire all you like, but do not use it as catalyst for oppression and discrimination.  North Carolina mother fuckers....I am talking directly to YOU!

 I shall end my rant - if you will - with an appropriate and albeit simple-minded Dead Kennedys song. 

Ride yo bikes!

This is a very exciting week for cyclists and art lovers.  In fact, I would almost call this weekend a cyclists wet dream.  Neighborhoods to be at this weekend.....the Grove, Dutchtown, and the U-City Loop. 

We kick off this fantastic multi-wheeled adventure with ArtCrank on Friday, May 11th.  ArtCrank is a delightful event that runs May 11th - May 13th at the Atomic Cowboy and features fantastic posters created from scratch by several local artists.  This event kicks off at 5PM on Friday.  Bring your cash and support these amazing artists!  For more information on ArCrank St. Louis - go here!

The MoPro Professional Cycling Series also kicks off Friday night with the Loop de Loop Grand Prix located in none other than the Loop in University City. The second round of madness continues on Saturday in the Grove.  Tour de Grove will consist of an AM 5K run followed by several cycling events throughout the morning, afternoon, and evening.  Last but no least -the Dutchtown Classic wraps up the MoPro madness on Sunday, May 13th.  There will be a series of cycling events through the morning and afternoon, and the event will conclude with an aware ceremony and celebration Sunday evening.  For more information on Tour De Grove and the MoPro series, go here!

Since it is National Bike Month....ALL MONTH LONG....there are an arsenal of events and happenings going on in the STL and Metro East area.  This Sunday, May 13th, drag your mom out and celebrate Mother's Day with a delightful five mile ride around the South Grand/Tower Grove Park area.  The cost is $8 per ride, BUT all Mom's ride for free!  Insert inappropriate mom jokes <here>. 

May 16th is the Ride of Silence and definitely one of the events that all cyclists should consider participating in.  This ride is in honor of cyclists that have been killer and injured in addition to raising awareness on cyclist safety, sharing the road, and so forth.  It kicks off at the Missouri History Museum at 5:30PM with a brief ceremony followed by a ride, which kicks off around 6:45PM.  If you are in the Metro East or St. Charles, MO area - there are routes in those areas as well.  For more on the annual Ride of Silence...click here! 

Don't forget - May 18th is National Bike to Work Day....save some gas, work off that beer gut, and pedal that ass to work.  No excuses...slackers.

For more information about cycling events, map routes, forums, and everything else you and your two-wheeled friend can do together.  These are great resources for cyclists in or around the STL area.  Stay informed and engaged! 

Trailnet
Bike STL
SpokedSTL
Handlebar

Bike n' Brew Crawlers...Friday...we ride!

Until next time....