Aug 22, 2012

Thievery Corporation


Bike thieving has been a hot topic lately so I thought I would add my two cents.  Bike thieves are the scum of the fucking earth.  Worse than politicians - worse than cockroaches.  They are the purest form of absolute scum. 
<==SCUM!
If you have ever had the unpleasant experience of coming home or back to the place where you left your sweet ride only to realize it has been stolen....well, I can empathize and relate.

It goes a little something like this:

You find yourself riding along on a beautiful day in search of some sweet gear from the magic shop at the local strip mall.  You park your awesome ride in a highly visible area at said mall.  You take the necessary precautions when locking up the bike - including a gigantic, excessively long chain complemented by an equally excessive padlock.  No one on earth can touch your precious bicycle with this much security right?

And then it happens....that sickening feeling you get when you come back to the spot where you parked your awesome ride and find that some scum of the earth asshole has stolen it.  You panic - freak out - demand that everyone drop everything and start searching for the bike thieving predator in hopes that in some way - you will get your bike back.

The last two weeks or so have resulted in two super happy fuzzy panda success stories - one local and one a far.  The local win happened because the owner effectively utilized social networking channels immediately following the incident.  The word spread and people on the streets were on the look out.  End result = bike was spotted, police were contacted, asshole on stolen bike was served, and the bike was returned to its rightful owner.

This dude gets his bike stolen and finds it listed for sale a few days later via Craigslist - Seattle.  He sets up a bogus meeting posed as an interested buyer.  Drives to meet the alleged thief  in Seattle armed with friends, cameras, and the Seattle PD.  Returns to Portland a happy panda with bike in tow.

Two happy endings in bicycle land.  Not bad.  I wasn't so lucky as we had two bikes nabbed from our garage last summer as we were literally moving from one house to the next.  The thief was eventually caught, but the stolen goods were long gone.

What can cyclists do to avert the stolen bike nightmare?
1.  ALWAYS lock your bike up - don't skimp on locks either.  Take some time to research efficient and relatively thief-proof locks before you grab some random piece of junk off the rack.  Some cyclists even use multiple lock combos for added security.
2.  When possible - bring your bike inside to lock up.  Some establishments are kind enough to allow this so take advantage.
3.  When locking up outside - be sure to lock your bike in a highly visible area with as much pedestrian traffic and lighting as possible.
4.  For Christmas sake - make sure you use your lock(s) efficiently.  Go here for an example step-by-step guide and illustration.  You paid good money for your locks - don't make it any easier on these assholes by not using them correctly.

That's it for this week's installment of crazy ramblings.....until next time.